I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
