i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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