remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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