help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
