My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do herpes really smell.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
