But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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