Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
