Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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