i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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