Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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