Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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