you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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