OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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