Whod you bang
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I will pee on everything he values.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
