I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
