Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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