he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
