just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
