never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
