Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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