PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
