talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
and you fell through a lawn chair
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
