Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
