Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
