pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
