Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
