why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
