Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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