The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
