Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
