why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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