Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
