i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
