Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
