dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
