So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
