There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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