it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
