Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
