woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
