It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
