Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
