You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
