The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
