Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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