need another drink. this is the easiest way
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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