did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
look no pants
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
