She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
