Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
