Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
