you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
