i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
