So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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